A Timeless Duet: John Prine and Iris DeMent’s “In Spite of Ourselves” – A Celebration of Imperfect Love
“In Spite of Ourselves” is a tender and humorous ode to the enduring power of love, even amidst life’s imperfections and foibles. Released in 1999 on John Prine’s album of duets, In Spite of Ourselves, this track, while not a chart-topper in the traditional sense, resonated deeply with audiences, becoming an instant classic and a staple of Prine’s repertoire. It’s a testament to the quiet triumphs of everyday love, the kind that isn’t always glamorous but is undeniably real.
John Prine, a master storyteller and songwriter, possessed a unique ability to capture the human experience in all its messy, beautiful glory. His songs were filled with empathy, humor, and a deep understanding of the human heart. “In Spite of Ourselves” is a perfect example of this. He envisioned it as a duet, and his choice of Iris DeMent was nothing short of inspired. DeMent, with her distinctive, almost ethereal voice, brought a delicate vulnerability to the song, perfectly complementing Prine’s warm, folksy vocals. Their voices intertwine like old friends, creating a sense of intimacy and familiarity that draws the listener in.
The song tells the story of a couple who, despite their flaws and shortcomings, are deeply in love. They bicker, they tease, they drive each other crazy sometimes, but their love for each other shines through it all. Prine’s lyrics are masterful in their simplicity and honesty. He paints a picture of a relationship that is lived-in and comfortable, a love that has weathered the storms of life and emerged stronger on the other side. “She thinks I’m an old, broken-down, has-been,” Prine sings, “And I think she’s the prettiest woman that I’ve ever seen.” This kind of self-deprecating humor is characteristic of Prine’s songwriting, and it’s what makes his songs so relatable.
DeMent’s verses offer a similar perspective, acknowledging her partner’s imperfections while celebrating his unique qualities. “He’s got opinions that would make your hair turn white,” she sings, “But he’s my baby, and I’m gonna love him tonight.” The song’s genius lies in its ability to acknowledge the complexities of love without resorting to sentimentality. It’s a celebration of the messy, imperfect, and utterly human nature of relationships. It’s about finding beauty in the everyday, about accepting each other’s flaws, and about cherishing the love that binds us together, even “in spite of ourselves.”
The arrangement of the song is beautifully understated, allowing the lyrics and the vocals to take center stage. The gentle acoustic guitar and the subtle harmonies create a warm and inviting atmosphere, like sitting on the porch with old friends, sharing stories and laughter. It’s a song that feels timeless, like it could have been written decades ago or yesterday. Its message of love and acceptance is universal and will resonate with listeners of all ages.
For those of us who have experienced the joys and challenges of long-term relationships, “In Spite of Ourselves” is a poignant reminder of the enduring power of love. It’s a song that makes you smile, makes you think, and maybe even makes you shed a tear or two. It’s a testament to the enduring legacy of John Prine, a songwriter who understood the human heart like few others. And it’s a beautiful example of the magic that can happen when two voices come together in perfect harmony. This duet, a gem in Prine’s vast catalog, continues to touch hearts and remind us all that love, in its most authentic form, is often found “in spite of ourselves.” It’s a song that stays with you long after the music fades, a gentle reminder of the beauty of imperfect love.