Trying to love without trying to love: A timeless country classic
It’s a familiar ache, isn’t it? That feeling when your heart and your head are at war. One side is pulling you toward a love you know is all wrong, while the other is pleading with you to walk away. This is the very essence of Johnny Rodriguez’s 1981 hit, “Trying Not to Love You.” It’s a song that speaks to a universal struggle, a tale of bittersweet regret and the stubborn persistence of an unwanted emotion.
Released on the album After the Rain, this poignant ballad quickly resonated with listeners and climbed the charts. It peaked at No. 30 on the Billboard country music singles chart in August 1981, a respectable position for a song that was perhaps more of a slow burn than an instant sensation. But its real legacy isn’t its chart position; it’s the way it has continued to touch generations of fans who’ve found themselves in a similar predicament.
The song’s power comes from its masterful songwriting. It was penned by none other than the legendary Merle Haggard, a man who knew a thing or two about writing songs that cut right to the core of human emotion. Haggard’s lyrics are simple yet profound, painting a picture of a man caught in a heartbreaking paradox. The story behind the song isn’t a dramatic one of scandal or celebrity romance, but rather a quiet, internal monologue. It’s the story of a person wrestling with their own feelings, a personal and private battle.
The meaning of “Trying Not to Love You” is laid bare in its title: it’s an ode to the futility of emotional suppression. The protagonist knows he should move on, that this love is causing him pain and leading to a dead end. But his heart, in its own stubborn way, refuses to listen. The lyrics are filled with a sense of weary acceptance—he’s not fighting the love, but rather the very act of trying not to feel it, a subtle but crucial distinction. It’s a song for anyone who has ever stared at a phone, wanting to call someone they knew they shouldn’t, or who has seen an old flame and felt a flicker of a feeling they’d long tried to extinguish.
Johnny Rodriguez’s signature smooth, understated vocals are the perfect vehicle for this raw emotion. He doesn’t belt out the words in a fit of despair; instead, he delivers them with a quiet, almost resigned tone, as if he’s singing them to himself in a dimly lit bar late at night. The simplicity of the melody and instrumentation allows the lyrics to shine, making the song feel intimate and personal. It’s a reflective piece, a song for a moment of quiet contemplation, and a nostalgic reminder of a time when country music wasn’t just about big trucks and cold beer, but about the deeply felt, often messy, business of the human heart.